So previously, I wrote about 4 necessary tips on how to stop binging. If you haven’t read it, I highly encourage you to start there then come back (or read it after). You’d be surprised how it can help you and give you a necessary, but mostly useful reality check.
To those here from reading my first post, I’m glad I intrigued you enough to keep reading.
Remember, at the end of the day, once you choose to do something, it’s your choice whether to stop; binging is one of those choices.
Everything is easy on paper, but when you really dive into the depths of what I’ve said so far, you’ll be able to fully understand how many layers of trauma and bad habits you need to shed to eventually get rid of the disorder for good!
So with that, let’s move on to tip number 5.
5) Understand you are the problem, know your triggers and heal.
I wish I could tell you to just make better choices and exert more willpower, but the honest truth is it won’t happen until you learn what caused you to start binge eating in the first place.
How can you expect to stop binging, for good, when you aren’t even aware of how it started?
Just think about it. Your body does not want you to keep eating, but your brain does. Why is that? You have to question yourself intensely and be very honest with each response in thorough detail.
Ask yourself a series of questions like:
- Why do you seek food when you are emotional?
- Why is it that food is your one and only answer?
- Why is it that binge gives you satisfaction instead of a healthy habit?
- Why does food give you temporary satisfaction?
- Why do you seek temporary satisfaction in the first place?
I could go on and on. (Maybe I’ll have a segment on that. Let me know in the comments)
I hope you understand that there are so many causes that contributed towards creating your binging habit which makes it all the harder to stop.
Don’t you wish it was easy to contribute it to just one factor and fix it? We all wish the journey to stopping was as easy as 1,2,3 but it simply isn’t. Especially if you’ve been binging for some time.
Stop seeking perfection.
Because binging is so hard to stop, you need to stop seeking quick fixes or some messed up view of what a perfect body and the perfect diet looks like.
You are imperfect in nature my friend. Do not take things so hard on yourself that you feel you need to keep adding pressure with a binge or to punish yourself with a binge or prove to yourself that you’re good for something with a binge.
That’s why it’s important to question yourself. It helps you find your triggers and understand how many unhealthy habits, such as seeking perfection, lead you into binging. And with those questions, hopefully come answers that will lead you towards healing.
Remember, the journey towards being healthy takes a while sometimes, and that is perfectly okay.
Of course, you’ll have weak moments, hell, you may even relapse, but does that mean you are incapable of doing better? No. It just means you are an imperfect human trying to do better.
You should take pride in your effort. Take pride in the journey you have chosen to go through and not the fact that you aren’t where you want to be. Take pride in bettering yourself, because although you may have not completely stopped binging, you are better than yourself yesterday.
Your milestones should be based on every day. Not where your body isn’t, not where your mentality isn’t, but rather how you chose to do 1% better today than yesterday.
That’s how you heal without being excessive and obsessive; without being so hard on yourself. That’s how you eventually get to the point where you’ve stopped binging and can’t even remember when exactly you stopped because it just became a part of your lifestyle.
That my friend is healing.
Healing takes bettering yourself because you deserve better. Which brings us to point number 6.
6) Quality over quantity
I can almost guarantee that your binges consist of unhealthy cheap foods, right? I mean there is no way you are binging salads or fruits and vegetables.
Healthily prepared food is never at the forefront of a binge. Most binges consist of fat, some great crunch, excess salt or sugar. That’s why we buy extra-large fries, large pizzas, the big pack of chips, the larger sized candy.
Why binge on a chicken salad when you can have fried chicken with some crispy fries? I mean the latter is technically a chicken salad too, right? Salad is made of vegetables; potatoes are vegetables therefore fries are just a different form of potato salad…right?
Oh, the logic we go through to justify a binge.
Oh, and let’s not forget all the money we spend on those binges. I mean why pay $40 on healthy groceries we can cook that could last a few days when we can spend it on junk food that lasts hours…right?
There is a huge lack of concern for the quality of food we consume which is quite frightening. In fact, for most bingers, there is an enormous lack of concern for the quality of most things in our lives.
Picture it, the food you binge is cheap and unhealthy, hence the term ‘junk’ food because it is junk. The tv shows you watch are most likely dare I say it trash, but you watch it to simply pass the time or mindlessly entertain yourself (Taste is of course subjective but watching almost everything out there just for the sake of it, or watching reruns several times of your favourite shows is nothing to be proud of).
The clothes you wear are potentially of cheap material too. Don’t get me wrong, cheap clothes does not mean cheap material. We all love a good bargain, and it’s not necessary to spend excessive amounts on clothes. But you can get a really good shirt for example, that will last you years by spending an extra say $20 on it, rather than just buying a very cheap, low-quality shirt that tears easy so that you can spend more money on junk food.
Quality impacts your self-image.
Often, we disguise our lack of quality for an ‘ I just don’t care’ attitude when you and I both know that that is a lie. A bold lie meant to protect ourselves. If you really didn’t, then why are you binging?
You care and you should care.
Think about what only eating, only watching and only wearing tacky things does to you. Think of what it does to your image. I am not talking about how others view you; I am talking about how you view yourself; I’m talking about how you treat yourself.
You act cheap, you wear cheap, you watch cheap, so you treat yourself, you guessed it cheap.
How can you have a heightened image of yourself and stop binging when you don’t treat yourself like a person of quality?
You don’t know your worth, so you act accordingly.
Once you know you’re worth, you’ll also act accordingly.
7) Stop isolating yourself.
Yes, I know, everyone needs me time. And of course, being alone does not mean you are lonely. But some of you are. Not even because there aren’t people that love you and would like to be around you, but simply because you choose to isolate yourself.
Are you aware that isolation is a predictor for cardiovascular problems, mental health disorders and increased mortality rates? (Isolation and mental health: thinking outside the box – PMC)
You should be aware by now how much of your brain causes binging and how stopping is a mental and emotional game. Are you aware of how badly isolating yourself truly impacts your mental health, thereby strongly affecting your emotions ergo binging?
Increased isolation literally affects almost every aspect of your mental health. There are several studies that show Social Isolation can be linked to the following:
- Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts
- Reduced physicals health
- Poorer restful sleep
- Increased stress
- Higher risk for depression
- Increased difficulty in paying attention and doing complex tasks
- Increased alcohol and substance abuse
- Decreased ability to regulate eating.
Look at that. Read it again and let it sink in. Now look at the last point and remember why you are reading this article.
Can you see how isolating yourself influences terrible habits that severely impact you?
Locking yourself in your room, not speaking to anyone you may be living with or in close proximity with is a problem. Not leaving your place to socialize is a problem. Not inviting people over is a problem.
Just always being by yourself, not being productive, left to your thoughts and nothing but that provokes you to drown in the negativity, to drown in food, to drown in the awful habits with barely any room to reflect, think, and do better.
Taking necessary time to yourself is not the same as isolation. One is a healthy habit that helps, the other is a negative habit that sucks you into such a negative hole you think you can’t get out of.
But you can.
8) Remember you can control binging
You are responsible for every binge and every thought of food. I mean it very literally. You go out of your way to order the food that you think will satisfy your cravings and will be enough to fill you up, you go out of your way to actually purchase the food, you go out of your way to even plan how you’ll eat all the food i.e. in what order, with what series in the background.
You know that feeling when there’s something you want to watch but you want to do it with food, so you choose to wait for the food to arrive if you’ve ordered or you go to the shops to get your snacks then come back home, hit play and binge.
See all the control it took for you to not watch what you wanted, be patient enough to wait, get food or wait for food then binge? You clearly have power within you to make choices and exercise them, so why do you think it can’t apply to other habits you want to pick up?
You are in control of those binges, what makes you think you can’t be in control of preventing a binge all together?
Control over your thoughts, control over your actions, control over your emotions are keys to life. Don’t allow things, including your negative self to get in your way.
When people, things and your emotions don’t have a control on you anymore, you have control on you. There is nothing more liberating than that. Nothing that gives you more peace.
And remember, control isn’t staying away from pizza, it’s eating a slice or two and knowing you don’t have to finish the whole box.
It’s not wrong for you to have cravings and eat the things you crave either. It is wrong for you to eat them to the point you are in pain and can barely move. Eat, my friend eat, but do not punish yourself.
9) Do not punish yourself
Emphasis on this point is needed. I know we have discussed it quite briefly in the previous points, but for your sake, it has as to stand out so that you truly let it sink in.
Punishing yourself is simply unhelpful.
There are several ways we self-punish. Maybe you decided that having that slice of pizza was wrong, so you choose to eat the entire box so that you feel severe guilt about it as your punishment, or maybe you’re punishing yourself by not eating the slice of pizza at all, and later engage in a binge to make up for the lost pizza.
Maybe you punish yourself for not being in the position you thought you’d be in; perhaps you thought you would be skinnier, or lost more weight than stay stagnant, maybe you failed to get a job, possible rejection from a potential lover… there is a lot of reasons we self-punish that lead us to binging.
This behaviour is ruining you.
You are not just temporarily punishing yourself, you are making the process to stop binging and engaging in a healthy relationship with food and yourself so much harder than it needs to be.
By punishing yourself, you are deepening the whole you’ve already dug yourself in.
Think about it logically.
If you were to hurt your foot, would you take time to heal your foot and make sure to care for it, or would you go out of your way to hurt your whole leg?
Do you see how much damage you have been inflicting on yourself?
Terrifying, isn’t it?
You and I both know however, that logic goes out the window when it comes to emotions; that’s where control comes in.
If you are able to control yourself, you are able to stop punishing yourself, you’re able to stop responding so emotionally to situations, and most importantly, you’re able to stop binging.
You’ll be able to eat a treat, without feeling the urge to eat everything in front of you, know when to stop, understand when you are full or rather when you have had enough, and the best part, not feel guilty about having a yummy snack.
Before you go
I like to remind people that “this life no be easy”. Stopping binging is one of the things that adds on to the pressures of life. But it is something we are so capable of fixing.
If you enjoyed this and would like to continue your journey towards a healthy relationship with food and yourself, be sure to check out From Binging to Bliss. I get very deep and very personal. A necessary process to finally achieving peace with self.
I hope I can help you make genuine progress.
And let me know what else you would like me to expand on or in the comments.
